Saturday, April 20, 2013

Rule #1: You Will Be Puked On

This has been my life ad nauseum (no pun intended) for the past two weeks in a major way. Sofia is about 2 1/2 months old now and has always spit up a little bit, as most babies do, but for some reason, the past two weeks seem to have been especially vomitous. (if that is even a word)

I think it all began when Daddy was holding her and she started to spit up so he held her up more and then she threw up ALL over him. From his mouth to his crotch. And I laughed uncontrollably with tears running down my face. Blame it on fatigue I did, yet it was probably more the fact that IT WAS NOT ME.

And there you have it; I must have tempted fate or apparently pissed off some sort of g-d because since then I have been paying for it in spades.

Now her latest party trick is such: smiles and laughs, coos away and looks all adorable until I get close to her and then a fountain, yes a fountain, I am not exagerrating,  of puke will encompass me, her and whatever is around us. Then she immediately will laugh and smile again.

We both suspect that she does do it on purpose sometimes. I have seen her holding milk in her mouth just ready to spew and say sternly, "Oh no you don't" and miraculously it disappears. Am I imagining it or is my tiny little daughter already able to manipulate the situation?

So one thing other than death and taxes is certain: if you are a mother, you WILL be puked on. And probably a lot. So get ready to do laundry, lots of it, and to try and shower at least once a day. And PS those baby wipes come in quite handy in wiping down your own self as well.

No comments:

Post a Comment